


Warm

by drenchedpetals



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Bittersweet, Christmas, Domestic, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, it's soft but also a little sad because suyeol has to hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:40:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28367070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drenchedpetals/pseuds/drenchedpetals
Summary: Junmyeon considers the price of warmth on his first Christmas living with Chanyeol.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 9
Kudos: 26





	Warm

(Do you remember?)

(It’s warm in here. I don’t want to.)

(But you do, anyway.)

‘Perhaps warmth can only be appreciated when you come in from the cold,’ Junmyeon finds himself saying, not very loudly, but still actually saying, into Chanyeol’s soft but very damp and cold coat. A year ago, he would have been embarrassed to come up with something like this. Interesting to hear himself say those words and not even wince. Just look up at his boyfriend, his eyes intense, shiny with… _something_.

‘Is this another metaphor?’ Chanyeol is trying to very carefully unravel his thick scarf; he can feel himself getting too warm already, but he doesn’t quite want to make Junmyeon let go of him. Junmyeon is physically quite clingy, but sometimes he gets startled, like a cat. Takes a while to come back to him, and certainly to a specific subject. Chanyeol still remembers when he accidentally disrupted a seemingly relaxed cuddle by trying to reach for a glass of water while Junmyeon was mid-sentence. He didn’t get to hear the story for another month. This doesn’t happen much with ordinary stories, of course. But it happens with the most important ones.

Snow is melting on Junmyeon’s hat and shoes; he’s been complaining about being cold for about half an hour. Chanyeol wants to prompt him to change but not if this is important. He brushes Junmyeon’s shoulders and back with his hand. The floor is already wet and muddy. They can deal with it later.

Junmyeon shakes his head with an unintelligible mumble into Chanyeol’s chest, then switches to a nod halfway through. ‘Maybe.’

(How trite. You’re boring now. You were more interesting when you were tortured. How are you going to write now?)

Chanyeol feels a weight on his heart where Junmyeon's head is resting, an arm stuffing itself under his, a soft but urgent request for affection. The hat is sliding off Junmyeon's hair so he takes the opportunity to remove it and give him a light kiss on the forehead. He can feel Junmyeon shiver a little bit. They’re both so tired after a whole day of shopping, and as concerned as he is about giving Junmyeon enough space to say what he needs, he doesn’t think that standing in the hallway, with water dripping off them and their bags, and Junmyeon's shoes clearly soaked through, is the best setting. He kisses him again, temple, cheekbone, cheek, upper lip, mouth. The kiss he receives in return is shaky. It’s a question.

_Are you sure that you can feed me?_

_You can have all of me._

_Are you sure it’s not too much, are you sure, because I need all of you, I do._

A bite on the lip makes his head spin for a moment. They’re supposed to get changed into dry clothes but this works too, right? Because Junmyeon won’t stop and Chanyeol doesn’t want him to stop and if this is a way to make him feel warm, if this is how to make him realise the cold can’t reach him here, he’ll do that, he’ll do anything.

_You can have me. Please._

Junmyeon doesn’t want to talk anyway. He just wants to experience coming home from the cold. He isn’t cold now. Chanyeol knows him, knows his body. Knows how to make him forget that he’s a boring, settled man now.

They put Christmas lights around the bed frame earlier. It’s a cliché, but it works. Junmyeon insisted on leaving them on while they went shopping because it would be dark when they returned and “it would be pretty”. Chanyeol likes pretty – after all, he’s dating Junmyeon – so he didn’t argue much. Only enough to maintain a level of respectability. They’ve been agreeing on so many things lately, it’s a little alarming.

It really is pretty, he realises somewhere between touches, not paying much attention to this realisation, simply accepting it like background noise accompanying much more important things, much more rushed thoughts, thoughts that don’t contain words. It does create a nice mood; Junmyeon's skin looks even softer illuminated by the delicate light, drops of sweat like scattered stars. He’d be cringing at himself pretty hard for thinking things like that, but, luckily for his self-respect, he’s too far gone to realise they are in his head. The light seems to melt softly over them both but kisses on hot skin feel brighter, they create light that reaches deeper. Junmyeon isn’t cold anymore but he does shiver. His memories disperse, brightened by gentle glow, then consumed, burnt away, falling like ash with a prayerful moan.

Chanyeol wakes up an hour later, shoulder slightly sore from where Junmyeon's head rests against it quite uncomfortably. 6:32pm. Shit! 6:32pm.

Why did they decide to have friends over when they could have gone out, or had a date, or done literally anything other than a strangely-timed housewarming? It’s Christmas, they could have easily said they wanted to spend it together, _alone_ together. But the truth is, their friends have been there through all of this, including all the times they almost didn’t make it – didn’t move in together at all. The truth is, they _want_ them here. That’s why.

‘Junmyeonnie.’

A groan and some kind of sleepy nuzzle.

‘Junmyeon _nie_ ,’ louder now.

Chanyeol is too sleepy himself and his head drops again but Junmyeon sits up and checks the time now. It’s his turn to try to wake Chanyeol up again. One would think this would be easy, that there is no way someone can be fast asleep already. One would be wrong. Junmyeon opts for a kiss as an alarm bell. Then another. Three more. Perhaps if his boyfriend’s horny he’ll want to stay awake, he reasons, reaching quite unceremoniously down where he knows he won’t be ignored. He’d make it more interesting but they really do have to get ready.

A delighted moan and he moves his hand away. This is, of course, met with some protest, but at least Chanyeol’s eyes are open again. He grabs Junmyeon's wrist but is met with determined resistance. Junmyeon is Junmyeon, so this is fun for him. If only they had more time for teasing and playing, maybe some light begging. Unfortunately, it’s 6:37pm.

‘We have to get up, remember?’

Junmyeon is small and strong, and he straddles Chanyeol for a kiss that requires sitting up a little to get to. ‘Manipulative bastard,’ Chanyeol mutters into his mouth.

‘You love me.’

‘I do.’

Somehow, they get it all done. Somehow, there is still time for Junmyeon to make an unholy mess on the kitchen counter because he tried to do something nice for Chanyeol. “Something nice” is fancy hot chocolate from a recipe he found online, never once tried to follow before, and decided to struggle with an hour before the arrival of their friends.

‘I figured you can’t mess up hot chocolate, even on short notice,’ he shrugs when questioned.

‘Oh, no, _you_ absolutely can,’ Chanyeol remarks, cloth already in hand, but he kisses Junmyeon anyway.

To be fair to Junmyeon, the hot chocolate is pretty nice. Despite how much of it seems to have mysteriously landed on the counter, there is even enough for two mugs. To be even fairer to Junmyeon, he also changes his clothes really fast. Granted, he’s had the outfit planned for a couple of days now.

They settle on the couch, handling their mugs quite carefully to avoid having to un-cuddle entirely. It’s definitely warm now.

‘Does it bother you that you can’t write now?’

The question is sudden, unexpected. Junmyeon frowns at it, staring at the light reflected in the surface of his drink.

(You can’t be happy and creative, and you know what matters more to you, right? Love never lasts. Art is eternal.)

‘No.’

(Lie to him now and leave him tomorrow.)

Junmyeon shakes his head, as if this will silence the noise in his head. ‘No, that’s not true, I’m sorry. It does bother me,’ he sighs.

(Why are you telling him? Do you want a big scene? Your friends will be here soon.)

But Chanyeol doesn’t make a scene. He nods and places a tiny kiss on Junmyeon's head. Waits until the important things can be said.

The silence that follows isn’t uncomfortable, although the conversation is unfinished. It still feels as if they are quiet together rather than lost in their separate worlds. That’s progress, even if thoughts are falling over them like snow, too many to express, or maybe just not the right ones? Junmyeon stares at the very happy-looking Christmas tree, as if it will give him the words he needs to get out. He’s not actually miserable; the tree doesn’t feel like some big joke, and that’s a strange feeling to adjust to.

The sound of the doorbell breaks their shared silence. Junmyeon seems to still be searching through the snow, so Chanyeol gets it. Gives Junmyeon time to realign his mind with the present moment. The house gets loud. Wine bottles are handed over, greetings exchanged. The air feels warm.

 _I don’t want to write about the cold anymore_ , Junmyeon realises over the happy noise of a full home (even if Baekhyun is of course complaining about traffic and Minseok has lost a glove, and does Chanyeol know where this could be hung up to dry a little, and–)

He smiles, truly and honestly. Polite masks don’t work with these people and he doesn’t actually feel the need to put one on right now. He joins the greetings, the hugs and well wishes. The floor is muddy again, dripping umbrellas have to be put away, coats hung up. The counter they just scrubbed now busy with various items brought by the guests. Everything is joyful chaos.

He stays up that night because the warmth of love is messy too. So he writes about that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I haven't written fic in several years – and never suyeol – so I'm quite nervous posting this. Reviews are very appreciated, including con-crit! But most of all I hope your heart felt a little warmer. And even though it's a little late – merry Christmas!
> 
> P.S. Thank you to friends who kindly read the unedited version and gave me the support and courage I needed to share this! And of course thank you to the Tiny Bunny Club for motivating me to write.


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